This post was written by Heather Rae. Follow me on Twitter or StumbleUpon.
I was recently asked to think of a time when I felt pure joy, when I felt totally fulfilled and content. It didn’t have to be anything big — just a single moment.
While pondering this question, I kept coming back to something specific. I wouldn’t say this was a time when I felt the most joy or even a time that stood out as a particularly big part of my life. Nothing spectacular happened (aside from a great vacation).
A few years ago, I took a trip to Maui with some of my girlfriends. The trip was amazing, and I loved hanging out with the girls. But the moment that I’m remembering — I was actually by myself.
We stayed in a resort on the beach. Each morning around 6AM, while the others still slept, I got out of bed, put my sweats on and walked down to the ocean. Apparently, no one else in that part of Maui got up at 6AM. If they did, they certainly weren’t on the beach. I had the place entirely to myself.
About half a mile down was a piece of land that hadn’t been touched — there were no high-rises, houses or hotels. There was only sand and brush. I would spend the morning walking or jogging along the beach, headed to that secluded spot. Once I got there, I either kept walking or I would take my shoes off, sit in the sand and stare at the ocean.
Living in Los Angeles, the thought of having the beach and the ocean to myself was pretty much unheard of, no matter what time of day it was. Thus, I was giddy like a child. The lapping sound of the waves, the smell of salt in the air, the feel of the sand in my toes — it all came together to make the most magical memory. If I close my eyes and imagine it today, my senses still come alive.
That was my moment of pure joy. It was a moment when I was content with the world — a time when nothing else mattered but the present. At that moment, I didn’t need to think of anything or doing anything or be anything. I just needed to be exactly as I was.
The point of doing that exercise — of thinking of a time when I felt pure joy — was to help me realize how I feel when I’m 100% content. The idea being, if you know what you’re looking for, it’ll be a lot easier to find again.
That said, now I’m on a quest to bring that feeling into my life on a regular basis. I want more often to feel completely present, calm, content.
The closest thing I can imagine, that feels present and calm in that way, is meditation. So I’ve been considering starting a meditation practice. The problem? I’m not that good at keeping up with these types of practices. Not to mention, I’m not that good at meditation in general. My mind is a wanderer – it’s always traveling somewhere, and that place is usually not the present moment.
So I’m looking for some input from you. Have you ever tried mediation? What was your experience with it? Do you have any tips for us novices for how to maintain such a practice? Or any suggestions on where to start?
I’m also curious to know — can you point to a time when you felt pure joy? What was it? What made it so wonderful?
I would love to get to know you and hope to hear from you in the comments!
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I always wanted to try meditation as well, but I was looking for a “how to” instructional guide – or something! I actually took a “How To Meditate” class at the Buddhist Centre in my city – but it just didn’t sit right with me. I couldn’t just “sit” and think happy thoughts. So, I thought I was a meditation failure! But after reflecting upon it, I think meditating can mean all sorts of different things for different people. For me, the best and easiest thing for me to do is to just take about 5 minutes before I go to sleep and just reflect upon the day and think positively about the next day. Sometimes this involves just lying down and thinking and sometimes it involves making a list of things for tomorrow….but it’s just taking that time away from the tv, my computer, my book, my partner – everything – and just reflecting on the day. Doesn’t take a lot of time, but definitely helps me centre and focus
Eran, I like this! I agree – there seem to be as many ways to meditate as there are people. Each person is different. I like your idea of reflection at the end of each day. I think I’ll give that one a try. I really need to find something that works for me to reflect on the present and not worry about the future – something to keep me centered (which is not something that comes natural to me, as I’m ALWAYS thinking about the future). I’ll be sure to report back how this one goes. Thanks!
a time when a felt total joy – a little while ago I wouldnt have bee nable to answer that but now I’ve started doing things I like I can! how exciting!
I joined a choir and a few months ago I did my first concert with them in our city hall. There were two moments when I felt pure joy. The first was at the beginning. The start of the concert goes like this – We all file on stage and turn our backs on the audience. Our musical director starts singing ‘feeling good’ then when the drums kick in we all turn around and start singing. The moment was when I had my back to the audience and I was waiting to start – I had a perfect feeling that I was exactly where I should be. The second moment was just after I’d sang my solo part. My God was I scared but after I did it I had never felt so good!
I was told once that when you feel this happy you should hold onto the feeling for a second and say ‘more of this please!’ I think the idea is that because your focusing on what you want it should happen more often. I’m not sure how much I believe in all this visualisation stuff so I’m trying to use it measure of how happy I am. When I get to the point where I’m saying ‘more of this please’ to myself everyday I probably dont need to be saying it anymore!
http://seattleinsight.org/Talks/BrowseSeries/Series/tabid/98/SeriesID/11/Default.aspx
The above link is to a 6 week video series from Rodney Smith, the man that I “learned” how to meditate from… He practices insight meditation, also called Vipassana, and is a well known inspiration in the Western Buddhism movement.
I showed up to the in-person 6 week class thinking there would be like 20 of us- nope- there was like 200! I think the biggest piece I learned from the course was that it really is a practice. Sometimes it’s hard, sometimes it’s easy- but you’re practicing! Each time you sit, you come away with something different.
My favorite book (love,love,love) is called One Dharma by Joseph Goldstein. He runs in the same circles as Rodney. It’s my favorite resource on how Buddhism is taking root differently in the west, what that means, and how it can be incorporated into our lives.
I don’t consider myself a Buddhist (yet!) but I find it fascinating, and it really informs my meditation. I do through time when I can sit for 30 minutes a day, and other times when I’m happy to take 5 minutes. I just keep reminding myself it can helps with my peace of mind!
(I’m going on a 7 day retreat in June at the Cloud Mountain Retreat Center with Rodney if anyone wants to join!! http://cloudmountain.org/index.php?page=about-us)
My mind also just starts to wander as soon as I try to meditate. I also take Eran’s approach: I lie still for 10 minutes before jumping out of bed and I really think about what I’m grateful for and what I’m feeling really happy about. I’ve also started taking yoga which has totally helped me in my quest to be a little more centered and a wee bit more mindful!
Nailah
So great to hear from you all!
@Lizzie – I LOVE your choir experience! That’s sounds like so much fun. I’ve read many good things about visualization. I think the idea of saying ‘more of this please’ is fabulous. Why not spend an extra moment appreciating an experience and reminding yourself that you would like more of that? I think I may just attempt to do that more often.
@Molly – THANK YOU for the links! I’m so excited to get started on that six week video course. I’ll be sure to let you know how it goes. Also, so great that you’re practicing Vipassana meditation. I’ve actually been looking into that too! I want to do a 10 day Vipassana retreat! I’ve been really interested in Buddhism and have actually started reading books about it. We have much in common, chica.
@Nailah – My mind wanders when I meditate too. So far, I’ve only had any real success with meditation if someone is guiding the meditation. Maybe I should look into that – getting a guided meditation CD or something? I’m not so good on my own.
And I LOVE yoga – I’ve been thinking about taking up yoga again. I think I might try your idea to be still for ten minutes before getting out of bed to appreciate what’s in my life. That sounds like a great way to start the day!
Goal setting is very important if you want something to be done in a short period of time.-:*
sometimes i am having some problems when setting goals.;*