This may actually be the 18th time I’ve written this post. It would seem I’m rather uninspired. But I’ve got to be honest here, I’m feeling a complete and total lack of enthusiasm these days. And writing about adventure and following your bliss is difficult when you’re not feeling particularly enthused.
So maybe you want to know why. (Or maybe you don’t, but that seemed like a good segue.) I feel frustrated an awful lot lately. Work has been frustrating. My personal life has been frustrating. Spending ridiculously long days at work wanting nothing more than to go home followed by going home to an empty house wondering why I was in such a hurry in the first place — it’s frustrating. I really need one part of my life to be easy right now. One part that just sort of flows.
But nothing is putting me there. Nothing feels particularly easy.
Don’t get me wrong. My life isn’t really so bad. Sometimes I’m floating right along in the moment, smiling and laughing and feeling pretty dam good. But something’s nagging at me, and I can feel it. I need to make a change, mix things up, bring on the excitement. But how? I’m at a loss this time.
It occurs to me that the new year is sneaking up on us. 2014 is just around the corner. Perhaps it’s time to get deliberate about what the year should look like.
I think part of the reason I’m feeling so blah is that I know the coming year is going to require some tough decisions — decisions I don’t really care to make. Where’s an “easy button” when you need one?!? I demand an easy button! (While I’m at it, I also wouldn’t mind a fresh baked double-chocolate brownie, perfect hair and a few less wrinkles.)
Anyway, I guess this post is going to be published because I absolutely refuse to rewrite this a 19th time, and I did promise to make an effort to write more often. So there it is — that’s pretty much how I’m feeling at the moment. Which doesn’t happen to be pretty at all. But it’s real.