Category Archives: Inspiration
In Search of: Inspiration for the Journey
I love this poem. I do. It brought me some serious inspiration, and I hope it does the same for you.
The Journey
by Mary Oliver
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice-
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do-
determined to save
the only life you could save.
In Search of: A Proper Sendoff for 2011
When you’re super, super excited about the new year, what’s the best way to say goodbye to the current one? Create a slideshow, of course! So I set about to pick my favorite moments of 2011. Naturally, I assumed all of them would be in Southeast Asia. I was surprised to see that I did a heck of a lot more than travel for two months this past year. Granted, I’d still say crossing the ocean and taking a solo trip through Thailand, Cambodia and Laos was absolutely the highlight of my year. But there were plenty of other great moments to boot.
Goodbye, 2011. It’s been grand.
In Search of: A Poem for Today
As the semester heads toward an end, I have been insanely busy writing papers and prepping for classes. Although I haven’t had much time to write, I’ve been thinking a whole heck of a lot about it! In the mean time, I wanted to share with you my latest poetry obsession. I have been loving the Poetry of Mary Oliver. Here’s one I really like.
When Death Comes
By Mary Oliver
When death comes
like the hungry bear in autumn;
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse
to buy me, and snaps his purse shut;
when death comes
like the measle pox;
when death comes
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,
I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering:
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?
And therefore I look upon everything
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility,
and I think of each life as a flower, as common
as a field daisy, and as singular,
and each name a comfortable music in the mouth
tending as all music does, toward silence,
and each body a lion of courage, and something
precious to the earth.
When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was a bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened
or full of argument.
I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.
Sometimes, Everything Has To Fall Apart
Sometimes, in order to move forward, everything has to fall apart.
A little over a year ago, I wrote what I considered my worst case scenario. Then I stepped back and thought on it. If everything went awry, could I handle it? Was I okay enough with my worst case scenario to take a chance? I decided I was, and thus, I took that chance I’d been plotting. At the time, I considered my worst-case just that, the worst thing that could happen. And then it actually happened. And you know what? It turned out to be the best thing.
Here’s what I’ve realized: when you’re smack dab in the middle of a situation that isn’t working for you, it’s often hard to see the forest for the trees. It’s hard to know exactly what isn’t working. For that matter, it’s sometimes hard to know anything isn’t working. You trudge along, perhaps feeling something is a bit amiss, but you don’t really see it. And so you keep trudging.
That’s what I was doing. I was moving along through a life that wasn’t quite right for me. Yet I didn’t know why it wasn’t right. Being a typical American, I figured the problem was my career. If only I could find the perfect job, things would be better. Validation through occupation. That’s what we do here in the States. We work, and we work, and we take few vacations, and we have few close ties, and we assume life equals a good living and a decent paycheck. So that’s what I focused on when I started this blog (and this whole search for squid, in fact) – I focused on getting on the right career path.
I quit the job I didn’t like, started writing every day and moved out of state, all far from my comfort zone. And then everything fell to shit.
My relationship fell apart. I found myself back in Las Vegas (the last place I ever wanted to be), living with family, searching for work, ready to accept pretty much anything with a paycheck. My worst case scenario manifested itself almost in exact accordance with my imagined worst-case. (Perhaps I should get into the field of reading fortunes?)
But that’s not the important part of this story. The important part is that I finally started living. I finally let go of preconceived notions, stepped out of my shell even more that I could have imagined, tried for things I had no shot at. And I stopped stressing. My life was in shambles (as an outsider looking in would tell you), yet I didn’t really care. I wasn’t stressed. I wasn’t worried. I had pretty much hit my own personal version of bottom, and I decided it wasn’t so bad. So why not apply for jobs I probably wouldn’t get, send my application to the Peace Corps, vie for acceptance to grad school, surround myself with good friends, tell people how much they mean to me and, essentially, lay all my cards on the table? Yep. Why not?
I didn’t even bother telling people I was doing this. I made vague mentions on this blog. I told a few people that helped me prep applications and came through for me as references. I started writing just because. Just because I enjoy it, not for any need to publish. I focused on friendships and the people I care about. I put myself out there without holding back and felt good about letting the pieces fall where they may. (Boy, I’m full of cliches today.)
Eventually, I got a few job offers, started working and moved forward. I had no idea what, if anything, would come through. I figured most of it was a long shot. But at least I could say I tried. I let go of expectations. And I really started to enjoy myself.
Fast forward. Life is good. Life is really, really good. Grad school came through. The Peace Corps came through. I received an exciting job offer I never expected. I’m having fun. My friendships are strong, as is my support network. I’m learning, as John Mayer would rejoice, to say what I need to say. I’m putting myself out there and not feeling afraid to do so. Rejection seems a hell of a lot less scary. I’m going to travel this summer. I have made a few decisions about what this next year holds, but past next year, I’ve made none. I figure, when the time comes to decide, I will, and that will be that.
Life isn’t nearly as scary as I once thought. Options are abundant if they are sought out. I have let go of rules. Who cares what other people think? I’m finally starting to live my life for me. I’m not afraid to go after what I want. I’m not afraid to fail. Because fail, I will. And that’s kind of a beautiful thing because that means I tried. That means I lived, I chose a path, I made memories.
And so I’ve come to realize — sometimes, in order to move forward, everything has to fall apart.
Roll the Dice
Lately, I’ve been on a quest to discover good poetry. And yesterday, completely by accident, just when I was feeling like throwing in the towel, I came across this gem. I love it. It changed my entire outlook for the day. It reminded me to hang in there. Because it’s the good fight that matters.
So if you’re feeling at all like I was. If you’re doubting why you’re even trying. Well, here’s a little piece of inspiration for your day. And remember. If you’re going to try, go all the way.
Roll the Dice
by Charles Bukowski
if you’re going to try, go all the
way.
otherwise, don’t even start.
if you’re going to try, go all the
way.
this could mean losing girlfriends,
wives, relatives, jobs and
maybe your mind.
go all the way.
it could mean not eating for 3 or 4 days.
it could mean freezing on a
park bench.
it could mean jail,
it could mean derision,
mockery,
isolation.
isolation is the gift,
all the others are a test of your
endurance, of
how much you really want to
do it.
and you’ll do it
despite rejection and the worst odds
and it will be better than
anything else
you can imagine.
if you’re going to try,
go all the way.
there is no other feeling like
that.
you will be alone with the gods
and the nights will flame with
fire.
do it, do it, do it.
do it.
all the way
all the way.
you will ride life straight to
perfect laughter, its
the only good fight
there is.
Keep In Touch
